


Lavender

by ImperialMint



Series: silence speaks for me [eruri week 2013] [5]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-07
Updated: 2014-01-07
Packaged: 2018-01-07 19:37:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1123609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImperialMint/pseuds/ImperialMint
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Day Five of Eruri Week: Happy Birthday Levi!</p><p>Erwin goes missing, Levi finds a duckling that is extremely attached to him and Moblit ends up running everyone's errands. Or Hange experiments, it goes slightly wrong, but everything works out in time for Levi's birthday.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lavender

**Author's Note:**

> Written for day five of Eruri week! Day five's theme was 'happy birthday levi/christmas'
> 
> I am very behind, but I plan to do all seven! I have ideas for the remaining two and hopefully will have the time :)
> 
> This is un-betaed so any mistakes are my own and I'd appreciate that if any are found that they be pointed out!

Levi wasn’t used to finding Erwin’s office empty when they were off active duty, but it wasn’t such a rare occurrence that he was worried when he entered. Erwin usually informed him when he was going away – so that couldn’t be the reason for his absence – but Erwin was allowed toilet breaks and a chance to get out of the office. Levi figured he’d simply wait for a short while, until Erwin returned.

He managed to hold out for twenty minutes before he got up and paced around the room, looking for evidence as to why Erwin had vanished. They were all creatures of habit and for Erwin to break his habit rubbed Levi the wrong way. It had nothing to do with the fact he was tired of putting up with minute squabbles and inane chatter he was forced to listen to from his new team. Wherever he went, there was someone always there and while Levi liked them all well enough, he liked his peace and quiet more when they didn’t have to spend all day every day together.

As to why Levi was looking for Erwin? He felt most at peace when in the company of his commander. The only other person he’d known for as long as Erwin was now Hange, and peace in her company was like trying to find a decent member of the military police; impossible.

Erwin’s desk was as neat as Levi had expected, which was to say it was a mess. Papers lined every inch and folders stacked high on top of each other. It looked as though Erwin had been researching something, though Levi didn’t care what for. He’d once been interested and waded through a pile of papers on composition of concrete and various house building materials. It was important to Erwin, but boring as fuck for Levi.

There was one out-of-place object on Erwin’s desk and that was the mug, almost full with some dark liquid, and Levi frowned. Erwin wasn’t a coffee drinker – he preferred to steer away from heavy caffeine when working, his sleep cycle in synch with the amount of work he needed to get through – and he wasn’t the sort to leave a cup of tea. Not that the liquid looked like tea and, after a quick check, it smelt nothing like tea either.

Maybe it had given him the shits, Levi thought. It would explain his extended absence and he sighed. He should get back to his squad if Erwin wasn’t around. Eren and Historia were perfectly safe with a team on guard duty, but there was nothing to do here so Levi might as well return home and get an early night. They were few and far between, after all.

A heavy, quick succession of knocks stopped Levi in his tracks. He called for the person to enter and raised an eyebrow at Moblit’s haggard appearance. His clothes were slightly askew (Hange had probably grabbed him in her throes of scientific passion) and his hair rumpled, but it was the wild look in his eyes that caught Levi’s attention.

“Where’s the Commander?” he said, breath a little rushed and panicked.

“Out,” Levi replied, frowning. “Why?”

Moblit’s shoulder dipped and he entered slowly, closing the door behind him and looking at Levi with round, pleading eyes.

“Hange-san thinks she might have poisoned him. Well, not poisoned, but she left something here and thinks the Commander might have mistaken it for a drink they were talking about a while ago.” Moblit shifted uncomfortably.

Levi felt dread form in the pit of his stomach. Erwin had only recently recovered fully from the loss of his arm, he didn’t need to deal with being poisoned by fucking imbeciles. 

“It’s not a deadly poison,” Moblit rushed on to say. “And I know the Commander isn’t in his rooms. Hange-san checked and then sent me here.” Moblit paused, biting his lower lip and scratching one arm absently.

“There’s a mug on the desk,” Levi offered, striding to the desk to collect the object that was causing Moblit so much grief. “It doesn’t look like much is missing.”

“Thank you,” Moblit said, relief clear in his body as he took the mug. “It doesn’t look like he’s drunk it at all.” Moblit smiled, though it faded slightly as he looked around. 

“If he’s not here and not in his rooms then he’s probably in a meeting or something,” Levi said and Moblit nodded eagerly, accepting Levi’s explanation easily. Levi didn’t want to mention that Erwin would have let someone know if he’d been called away, it was a fact Erwin insisted upon, just in case something happened to him.

“Thank you, Captain,” Moblit said. “I’ll get this back to Hange-san right away.”

And he was gone, scurrying down the hallway and out of Levi’s sight. Levi took a glance back at the empty office and sighed, squaring his shoulders. Erwin wasn’t here for whatever reason. They’d never said they had to tell each other everything about their lives, but Levi had always thought they knew each other inside out regardless. Perhaps Erwin had some business Levi wasn’t privy to and that was the reason for his disappearance.

It still stung a bit to know that Erwin had simply vanished without any warning. Even with delicate information (though Levi didn’t know any situation Erwin hadn’t informed him of anyway), Erwin always let Levi know when he was going to be absent.

“Perhaps he isn’t over the loss of his arm completely,” Levi said to himself, walking from Erwin’s office and to the stables. His explanation was a reasonable one; Erwin had been different since the loss. Levi was still reaching, but it was the only explanation he could think of.

His horse was ready for him and he mounted quickly, frowning as he noticed the stable next to his horse’s held Erwin’s gelding, relaxed and chomping his way through his haynet. Clearly he wasn’t expected to be ridden today.

His squad were all gathered in the kitchen when Levi entered, all sitting at the table and staring at something. Eren looked up first, welcoming him back hurriedly and looking back to the table quickly. A splash sounded from somewhere and Levi frowned as he heard a small thump and a tiny shape appeared on the table, emerging from the crowd.

“We found it alone outside,” Eren said, eyes darting to the others for confirmation. 

“It’s an odd time of year for them,” Sasha said, following the little creature down the table. “Ducks don’t usually lay at this time of year and a duckling alone is going to die anyway.”

“We could raise it,” Connie said enthusiastically, “and then set it back when it’s grown up.”

Levi was no stranger to the reason behind them wanting to keep the duckling. They were all so young and they’d all seen so much death. Life was precious to them all and to let this little duckling die was a massive no. Even Levi could agree to that, though he wasn’t looking forward to cleaning up the shit it would leave everywhere.

“It can stay,” Levi said, stepping nearer to the table. The duckling peeped happily, stepping closer and closer to the edge and Levi didn’t move quick enough to catch it as it launched itself from the wood, wings fluttering uselessly.

His squad all shouted out, little panicked noises as they surged forward. Levi remained still, eyes critical as he watched the duckling roll forwards until it hit his boot. It squeaked happily, shaking its body and righted itself, clambering onto Levi’s shoe and settling there.

“It’s run away from the rest of us,” Jean said sagely, crossing his arms and taking a step back. “It literally threw himself just then.”

Silence fell around them and Levi looked down, shoe suddenly impossibly heavy as the duckling looked at him, peeping merrily as if sitting on Levi’s boot was all it had ever wanted in life.

“I said it could stay, not stay on me,” Levi grouched, ducking down to push the bird off. It seized its opportunity and brushed its little head against Levi’s hand, and that was the exact moment that Levi knew he was fucked.

“But it likes you, Heichou,” Armin said, and if Armin was against him then there was no way Levi was going to win. 

“Peep,” said the duckling, and that was it really. Instead of pushing it off of his foot, Levi scooped the little beastie up, cradling it in his hands. It was a tiny thing, breathing quickly and had almost constantly moving, looking merrily at the people who had saved it. 

“We asked one of the guards to get duck feed,” Eren said, smiling at the duckling in Levi’s palm. “Shall I bring it to your room, Sir?”

And like that, Levi found himself sitting in his room with a bucket of water on one side of his bed and a bag of feed on his dresser. The duckling was currently running up and down his bed, lost in its own world, and Levi wondered when, exactly, had he started taking orders from his own squad.

“Peep,” the duckling said and Levi rolled his eyes. 

“Come on then,” he said affectionately, putting some of the feed in a little bowl and setting it down for the hungry bird. “Eat up.”

The bird did so with gusto and Levi wondered if the teenagers had even let it eat before now. Levi had looked after birds before and they needed food at all times. He sat down on his bed and looked down at the duck on the floor, a faint smile on his face. Not many people knew that Levi was a sucker for animals. He’d always preferred them to (most) people, but he never allowed himself to grow to close to his horses. They were colleagues, direct in line to die with his human comrades. This duckling though? It would be free once it was able to fend for itself.

Levi could allow himself to grow a little close to that.

.

The duckling didn’t seem to understand what sleep meant. It splashed noisily in its bucket, making ridiculously loud squeaks and Levi sighed heavily. 

“Be quiet,” he hissed in the darkness and the duck seemed to pause. Perhaps it could understand him, though Levi thought it probably saw the threat of neck-breaking in his tone more than that.

A curious squeak sounded, followed by a thud as the duck abandoned its bucket. 

“Do you ever fucking sleep?” Levi grumbled and the duckling replied by tapping the bottom of the bedframe raplidly, and Levi knew he had no other choice if he wanted to get some sleep before the sun rose.

He scooped the duckling up carefully and it peeped happily, rubbing its head against Levi as soon as Levi placed him down on the sheets. The bird was strangely well toilet-trained and had shown Levi it would only shit in one place so Levi didn’t need to worry about sleeping in shit all night.

“Happy now?” he said softly as he lay on his side, the duck tucking itself against his neck. Levi smiled to himself, revelling in the warmth the bird was giving off. He was a little ball of life and excitement and Levi was glad the duckling had been brought in, even if it was selfish of him to do so. He had a mission and a heavy duty, but a duckling wasn’t so bad, not really.

.

“Good morning, Heichou,” Sasha greeted, her grin widening as the pitter-patter of little feet sounded behind Levi as the duckling tried to keep up. It peeped and squeaked as it went around the room, greeting Sasha with little pecks, before it returned to Levi and waited to be placed on the table.

“It’s a spoilt thing,” Levi said, frowning as the duck helped itself to a piece of his toast. He thanked Sasha as she poured him a mug of tea and watched as the duck worked on clearing up the crumbs on the table.

“He’s a sweet little thing,” Sasha said, taking her seat down the table and smiling. Everyone else was, assumingly, still in bed, but Levi didn’t blame them. He was an incredibly early riser himself, even by military standards. He was, in fact, surprised that Sasha was up.

“I’ve helped raise ducks before,” she said, chomping into a piece of toast with gusto. Levi looked at her and nodded. “This isn’t an ordinary duckling. It’s got no fear,” she explained, slurping her drink and looking slightly abashed afterwards, as if she’d just remembered whose company she was in.

“No fear?” Levi asked, ignoring her lack of table manners for a more interesting subject. He knew the duckling was no ordinary creature, but he hadn’t thought too much about it.

“Exactly,” Sasha said, shifting in her chair to get a little closer. She pushed the plate in the duckling’s direction, calling for it to come and pick at the crumbs she’d left. The duckling ran over quickly, peeping loudly in excitement.

“It doesn’t even look twice at me, as if it’s known me for a long time. It treated you as if you were an old friend too. As soon as you walked in, you became that duckling’s entire world.” She smiled and stroked the duck’s head gently. “Wherever it’s come from, I think it just needs a bit of care and love.”

Levi was finished when the others began to filter in, but he hung around to watch the duckling steal from everyone else’s plates too, though it didn’t clamber over his squads’ hands like it did his. Sasha was right when she said the duckling had a particular attraction to him.

Still, a duckling couldn’t hold up his duties and Levi needed to discuss something with Erwin today. Hange had mentioned some experiments and Levi wanted to know what Erwin really thought about it and see how he weighed the risks. Levi always trusted Erwin’s judgement, after all. 

“I’ll be out for a few hours,” Levi announced and the room quietened immediately. “I’ll be with Erwin, should any of you need to send someone for me.”

The duckling ran across the table, following Levi without an ounce of hesitation, bouncing off of the wooden chair as it hastened to keep up. Someone cooed behind him, but Levi ignored them all, heading to his room to collect his boots. The duckling was hot on his heels the entire time, but Levi ignored it, marching to the door with purpose and closing it behind him.

As he set out to the stables, Levi ignored the frantic noises he could hear from inside the hut. He’d never thought that ducks could be so bloody loud and he turned his shoulder, tacking up his horse and setting out.

He couldn’t carry a duckling around with him all day anyway, despite the mighty urge to do so.

.

Levi returned to the hut a little while later and headed straight to his room. His squad (and it really was strange to call them that for in his mind his squad were smaller, older, more experienced… and dead) avoided him like the plague, sensing Levi’s bad mood, and he sank into the chair he had in the corner of his room.

A knock on the door sounded and Levi glared at the wood, giving permission for whoever it was to enter a moment later.

It was Eren, holding a box.

“Levi-heichou,” he said, a little unnerved by the glower Levi wore. Which was fair enough, Levi wore anger well. “He wore himself out.”

Eren came to his side and passed him the box. It didn’t have a lid and Levi looked down to see the duckling inside, lying awkwardly and fast asleep. Its feet looked a little raw and Levi was taken aback by the small scratched and blots of blood on its legs and feet.

“We tried to calm him down, but he was having none of it. He pecked Jean so hard he bled.” Eren gave a tiny huff of laughter at that, though it wasn’t unkind. “He’ll be happy when he sees you’re back.”

Levi nodded, eyes still fixed on the bird before him. No one else had ever wanted him so much before, aside for Erwin. Erwin had fought tooth and nail against the world to keep Levi and here was this little duckling, trying to carve a hole in wood just to follow Levi to fuck knows where.

“You idiot,” Levi said softly, taking the duckling from the box and cradling it against his chest. It stirred with a soft peep before its entire body jerked and it stared up at Levi with wide eyes.

“Peep!” it said, wiggling its entire body as it realised Levi was back. There was nothing but delighted joy contained in its body and Levi smiled down at it, the anger seeping from him.

“I’m worried,” he said a little while later. He’d tucked himself into bed, duckling napping next to him. Its downy feathers were a little damp from when it had gone for a swim and it was trying hard to keep its eyes open. When Levi spoke, though, its entire world shifted and it took in every world Levi was saying.

“Erwin’s still missing. No one’s seen him in a while, not even Hange.” Levi poked the duckling’s side, stroking the soft feathers. “What if something’s happened to him? Not someone hurting him; even with those shits out for his blood and his missing arm Erwin could outwit them, but what if he’s just taken himself off somewhere to hide for a while?”

The duckling nipped his arm and Levi drew back. A red mark blossomed on his skin and Levi looked at the bird with a deep frown.

“You fucking shit,” he said, though his voice was nothing but pure affection. “I just… I want Erwin back.” Levi curled his legs up and sighed. 

Too many things had happened at once. Usually there were longer gaps between the loss of comrades, but Levi had lost too many people too quickly and the thought of losing Erwin (which had almost become a reality upon return from rescuing Eren) was too much. Mike was gone and Erwin was all Levi had left, along with Hange.

“He’s been acting strangely lately, but this tops the fucking cake.” Levi rolled onto his back and the duck peeped quietly, settling against his collarbone and curling up, ready for sleep. 

“I hope he’s back for my birthday,” Levi said softly, closing his eyes and covering the duckling gently with a hand. 

One was never too old for a nap.

.

Since Erwin was missing (though Hange didn’t seem too worried and made all the right excuses that Erwin was putting Eren through his paces in special training to the upper brass), Levi assumed his paperwork duties momentarily. It meant he got to sit in Erwin’s office for a few hours each day, on edge with every footfall he heard in the hall outside and had to wade through pages of useless crap that Erwin dealt with every day. The man was a saint and if not for it being extremely out of character, Levi couldn’t fault him for wanting to give it the slip.

“You have to behave,” Levi said, as he had for the past week, to the duckling. It was as large as his hand now and was amazingly placid, content to swim or sit on Levi’s lap as he worked. Very rarely would it clamber up to the desk and peck at Levi’s hand or peep angrily at him for something, but other than that it was on its best behaviour.

“Hange-san sent me to bring you this,” Moblit said as he entered, not bothering to knock. Levi didn’t mind Moblit; he always brought tea. “And also to deliver this letter.”

Moblit gave a tight lipped smile and Levi dismissed him, knowing he had a thousand other errands to run and wanted to be back with Hange as soon as possible. Moblit had always been a protective one, but even more so now with the trouble stirring up and Erwin’s vanishing act.

“Let’s see what she’s written,” Levi muttered to the duckling, and it stirred from its slumber on his lap to peer up curiously. 

Ink stained fingers opened the letter slowly and Levi winced at Hange’s messy scrawl, more suitable for scientific notes than letters.

It was, as Levi had suspected, a note about his birthday. She was inviting him for a meal, apologising for not asking in person too. They were all busy and Levi didn’t mind that, but he wondered why Hange wanted to take him for a meal. Levi wasn’t a fine diner and neither was she, which meant she likely had something to tell him – something more personal than business.

His birthday was just a convenient day she’d picked, he suspected. Levi wasn’t sure Hange knew it was his birthday tomorrow and he didn’t care whether she did or not, but at least he had something to do than remember that almost everyone he’d cared for was dead.

“If I ever get another life, make me a well-loved pet,” Levi mumbled, thinking of their miserable, human existence. The duckling peeped softly before it hopped from his laps and waddled over to its little pool, going for an excited swim.

“She’s not the one I want to spend the day with,” Levi whispered in the dark, much later when the moon was high and the woods around were silent. “But Erwin’s not here, is he.”

The duckling let out a sad peep, pressing its little body closer to Levi, as if it could give Levi every comfort in the world just by being there.

.

Of course, Levi had always expected Erwin to come back as he’d left; unexpectedly. He hadn’t imagined, even in his wildest dreams, to be woken by him in the middle of the night, however.

A crushing weight bore down on Levi and he panicked, lashing out with his elbow, eyes wild. In his mind, snapping titans and crushing limbs were all Levi could see and he made for the lantern at the side of his bed, wielding it as he towered over the figure he’d just knocked onto the floor.

It was Erwin, arm submerged in the duckling’s bucket and confused expression on his face. He was entirely naked and Levi sat down heavily, not sure where to begin. His heart pounded in his ears and he could feel his pulse wrack his entire body.

“What the fuck,” he said heavily, breathing in deeply, “are you doing?”

Erwin’s head snapped up and he looked, for the first time in his life, like an idiot. His mouth was open slightly, hair askew and stubble coating the lower half of his face (and no, he looked like a tramp, not even remotely attractive, Levi tried to convince himself) and he looked entirely lost.

“Happy birthday,” he said slowly, removing his had from the bucket and looking at his fingers as if they were the most amazing things in the world. 

Fuck, he’d completely lost it, hadn’t he?

“Erwin?” Levi said slowly, concern bubbling in his chest. “Are you okay?”

“It is your birthday, isn’t it?” Erwin asked instead, standing shakily and stretching his legs. His body was in perfect condition so he couldn’t have been running through the woods this past week or so, but where the fuck had he been? And why was he naked?

“Erwin,” Levi said firmly and Erwin looked at him. Levi was relieved to see his eyes were clear and knew that he hadn’t lost Erwin to a madness that sometimes claimed their soldiers. He was a fucking weirdo, but that was just who Erwin was.

“It is my birthday,” Levi said, knowing Erwin wouldn’t budge from his question unless he answered.

“Good,” Erwin said, sitting on Levi’s bed calmly as if he did this every day. “I was worried I’d miss it.”

Levi didn’t bother to reply. Instead he tucked himself back into bed and turned his back to Erwin, determined to ignore him if he was just going to be a dick. It was only then that Levi remembered about his other companion and shot back up, searching for the duckling.

“Where is it?” he hissed, kneeling on the bed and shoving Erwin, not completely accidentally. 

“Levi,” Erwin said gently and Levi turned. If Erwin had killed his duckling, there was no way Levi wanted him here. He was a prick anyway for vanishing without a word and one for almost crushing him. Levi wasn’t an overly patient man, but he could be for Erwin. This was stretching the limits, however.

“I’m right here.” And they were back to Erwin’s inane chatter then, were they?

“Well done,” Levi said snidely, hopping off of the bed and looking under it, listening out for any peeps that would signal his duckling was okay.

“I mean your duck. It’s here. I’m here.” Erwin looked at him expectantly and Levi paused in searching, straightening up and looking at Erwin slowly, brain unable to wrap around the words.

“Hange’s been experimenting,” he said quickly, though Levi wasn’t exactly sure what Hange’s experiments had to do with this, but he’d let Erwin talk for now. “She’s been looking into the titan’s regeneration and looking to see if we can repair wounded soldiers and regenerate limbs.”

He looked a little guilty at that and Levi rolled his eyes. Erwin was allowed to miss his arm, even if Erwin didn’t think it himself.

“I took the wrong mug from Hange’s lab and turned myself into a duck.” Erwin smiled faintly and Levi stared at him, eyes roaming over his entire body. He sighed and took a seat beside Erwin, resting his head on Erwin’s warm arm.

“It’s a fucking insane story,” he mumbled, breathing in deeply, glad to be with Erwin once again, even if their reunion had been a little shaky.

“I didn’t understand enough to tell you I was me until now.” Erwin tilted his head so that he rested his atop Levi’s. It was a gesture that Levi had always found comforting, but he knew it ached Erwin’s neck a little. “All I remember from when I was a duck is that I wanted to be with you all the time. That first day you left was the worst day of my life.”

The words were thrown about with ease in the world, but Erwin’s were heavy and Levi believed him wholeheartedly. It was insane to think that Erwin had been a fucking fluffy duckling, but Levi believed him. Maybe that made him a fool, but Levi couldn’t see any other explanation.

“I should have known that duckling was you,” Levi muttered, wrapping his arms around Erwin and holding him tightly. “No one else likes to snuggle so much.”

He’d barely finished his sentence when Erwin pushed him down on the bed and smothered him in kisses, tangling the sheets as he tried to wrap himself up in Levi’s embrace. 

“I missed you so much,” he admitted, burying himself against Levi’s collarbone, just as he had when he was a duckling. “I’m sorry I left you.”

Levi ran his hands through Erwin’s hair gently, smiling to himself.

“You didn’t leave, really,” he said, heart warm and light for the first time since Erwin had vanished.

Hange threw the door open a few hours later, jumping onto the bed as she let Levi’s squad get an eyeful of their naked Commander sleeping peacefully on top of Levi, her relieved laughter echoing through the hut. Levi chased her away, ignoring the looks his team sent him until they balked as Erwin walked in wearing nothing but Levi’s sheets, looking far too casual to be real.

“I’m sorry for the intrusion,” Erwin said placidly as he made himself toast and a cup of tea, his sheet-robe revealing more than Levi wanted anyone else to see. “One of Hange’s experiments turned me into the duckling you rescued. Thank you for that,” he said simply, and that was that.

Levi had always said Erwin was the master of getting himself out of sticky situations, but this had to take the cake. His squad settled down as if seeing their Commander this way was a norm and that someone being turned into an aquatic bird was nothing.

“Tea?” Erwin offered with a smile and Levi sighed heavily, surrendering (as always) to Erwin.

Nothing in the Scouting Legion was normal, after all.


End file.
